Even if there is only one decent X..

"Even if there is only one decent German, [that person] would deserve to be protected from the barbarian rabble, and for that one German's sake, one should not pour out one's hatred for the entire people."

Etty Hillesum, born Middelburg 1914, died Auschwitz 1943.

For X, choose your 'category'.  It's whatever makes you feel uncomfortable, whatever nationality, belief, human need inspires you with apprehension, alarm, unease, fear, annoyance, scorn.

Trust me.  You already know that exception.

And there's more help from Etty.  Think on this:

"Ultimately we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace and to reflect it towards others.  And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will be in our troubled world."

One of my ongoing projects is finding ways to boost positive emotion in learners.  What I have learned from this practice is how easy it is to spread goodwill.  It helps, I think, that my formative years were spent in Africa, so I don't have the wariness towards strangers of my fellow Islanders, in the corner that lies south of Watford.  I am given to striking up conversations at bus stops, for example.

But even at bus stops, I know the cloud in my thought...against those who fail to acknowledge that a queue, even a queue of one, requires respect.  Trivial, innit? Observe how far I have to go in reclaiming peace within myself.....   .

Enough of fame; a pox upon these actions

The fame of good men’s actions seldom goes beyond their own doors, but evil deeds are carried a thousand miles’ distance. [Chinese proverb]

In this time of conflict and turmoil, insecurity and despair, if there’s one question one cannot ask, with the expectation that there will be universal agreement, it seems to be the one that starts, “Who could fail to be moved by...?”

Adding to our grief is the loss of trust in the innate goodness of our neighbours on this planet. For now we all know that there is clearly a substantial body of people, not just ‘out there’ but even ‘right here’, on every ‘side’, across every political and religious divide, who indeed fail to be moved by the horrors that they and their teams unleash.

The Independent never fails to bring to my attention the anguish of victims. This must have an effect on its sales: from those like me, who look at the headlines and photos, who reflect, wince, then opt for another paper, as opposed to those bold souls who buy because of those very headlines, those very photos.

On Monday, the blow was the death of Fares Akram‘s father. Now it’s someone we ‘know’. Fares’s Dad. Journalists force us up close and personal. We now chalk up for our Ongoing Concerns lists, Fares’s wife, their baby and the nameless, invisible, overlooked women and children in that region, whom they represent.

Yesterday, the photo of the three Samouni children being carried to their graves. The day before, the anxiety of Ibrahim Dawwas. Next week, no doubt, a flurry of images. From Zim, the DRC, Afghanistan...

Enough. Enough of fame. A pox upon these actions.

Yay, Yay! Yum, Yum!

The cheer of a favourite four year old expresses some of my glee on coming across the teaser Kindness — the great taboo on the front page of Saturday’s Review Section of The Guardian. What a start to the year...

Turned out this section’s lead story was an extract from the book On Kindness, a joint effort from psychoanalyst, Adam Phillips, and historian, Barbara Taylor.

This against the background of ongoing conflict across the globe, and the increasingly vicious conflicts that dismay and depress.

While a soppy Fifties scene accompanies the story in the print edition, a Fra Angelico fresco of St Lawrence distributing alms accompanies the online edition.

What this, and the story’s headline, the Christianity-associated admonition to Love thy neighbour, could suggest is that kindness is predominantly a Christian value, and I wonder how many atheists, agnostics, and those of other faiths, scanned the headline, dismissed the story, and paged on.

But then, who am I to talk? After all, I eventually felt I had to two words to this blog’s title, hoping this would somehow clarify that it’s not based on some Old Testament rant.

The book itself looks both at the evolution of the concept of kindness over the centuries, going on, from a more psychoanalytical perspective, to examine our ambivalence about kindness . The Guardian's piece gives an overview of attitudes to kindness over the centuries, its appeal to, and dismissal by, the human psyche, concluding with the claim that “it is kindness, fundamentally, that makes life seem worth living; and ... everything that is against kindness is an assault on our hope.” (My italics. My sentiments.)

I recommend this read.

Note: On Kindness is published by Hamish Hamilton. I see that it’s currently going for half the published price on Amazon UK but, re the US, please note that your Amazon indicates the book won’t be released there until late May.

"If not me, then who?"

This story doesn't strictly speaking 'qualify' as an 'act of kindness done to enemies' but as the current conflict is providing scant opportunity to record such acts of kindness, I am extending the scope of this blog to acknowledge an extraordinary, experienced trauma surgeon, John P. Pryor, of Philadelphia, who was killed in Iraq this Christmas.

I came across his story on the Tanker Brothers blog, and subsequently read more on sources linked to it. This surgeon was motivated by compassion to apply his medical skills in the service of those victims of war whom the public, and particularly those who oppose war, often overlook: the combatants.

According to a report which Tanker Brothers quote, these words of Albert Schweitzer reflect what John Pryor stood for. "Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Even if it's a little thing, do something for those who need help, something for which you get no pay but the privilege of doing it. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here, too."

This conviction led John Pryor to Iraq, a decision which, according to the report, "was not always supported by those closest to him".

Spare a thought for a man who laid down his life for his brothers. And for those closest to him in their great loss.

David Rice: his brother's salute to his memory

After his brother David died in the second tower, Andrew Rice was appalled by yet more civilian casualties—this time in Afghanistan.

But Rice chose not to fall in line with those who were determined to show the "other side" that they couldn't mess them about. With grieving relatives of other victims, he comforted the weeping mother of Zacharias Moussaoui.

He explains his approach to the loss of his brother: "I'm refusing to fall in line with what “they” want, which is visceral hatred between two sides; this gives me permission to reconcile."

[You can read more about Andrew Rice's story here and also check out The Forgiveness Project and check out Peaceful Tomorrows amongst the links under BREAKING THE MOULD in my side bar.]

A sketch in the sand, a loosened bond

I've recently come across reports of the Presidential Faith Forum in California in mid-August.

John McCain referred to a guard who had come in and loosened the ropes that bound him so tightly, before returning to tighten them four hours later. This puzzled me when I first read about it, and I didn't initially interpret it as showing kindness to the enemy. Actually it occurred to me that this act might simply have been a variation of the good cop/bad cop scenario, with the same guard playing both roles. But I've since found the transcripts of this forum online and the additional details make it clear that this 'qualifies' as kindness to an enemy in a relatively recent war. (As ever, I hope to come across more recent kindness towards enemies. Today, last week, last month, last year...)

Following the transcripts of the Forum Responses, it seems it was the same guard who approached McCain, while he was praying on Christmas Day, and who drew a cross in the sand with his sandal, leaving it visible for a minute before rubbing it away.

Come to think of it, did McCain ever return to Vietnam?

Did he ever try to track down that guard?

Courage and compassion during Black July

A report based on an address by Dr Palitha Kahona in Toronto last week, has appeared online in the Sri Lankan Sunday Observer. It included a reference to a comment by Dr Nallai Nallainayagam on his family's experiences during the Black July of 1983. (I have been unable to locate the original.)

“The riots brought out the worst and the best of human traits. Some neighbours who have lived in harmony and peace for a long time turned informants, guiding the mobs towards Tamil homes. At the same time, many Sinhalese and Muslims, both neighbours and strangers, risked their lives to protect the lives of Tamils by hiding them in their homes and feeding them till they could be taken to safety. My family sought refuge in the house of a very close Sinhalese friend and was well looked after for more than two weeks due to the kindness and the generosity of this family and friends in the Muslim community. We have no words to thank them for their bravery and kind heartedness”.

A captor's gift

Just when I was despairing of ever coming across the report of any kindness shown to hostages in Iraq, I came across Norman Kember's account on the web site of The Forgiveness Project.

Norman Kember said:

"We also experienced small acts of kindness from our captors. After a month we were given toothbrushes, and then a notebook and pen. Just after, at Christmas, we were shown a DVD of the Life of Jesus in Arabic, and one of them brought us a fragrant rose from the garden."

I hope, when the four surviving hostages, from the group kidnapped from the Iraqi Ministry in 2007, are released, that they will also be able to draw on a memory of even one fleeting act of kindness too, from their hardened captors. Given reports of the suicide of Jason, and what we know of man's brutality to man out there, this seems a wish so childish that I can feel my reader's scorn, and hear an exasperated "Get real!"

I hoped, when Jill Carroll was released, that her account of her kidnapping would mention some act of kindness. At one point, I seem to recall, word came out that she was "preparing food with the women of the house", yet her subsequent accounts showed that the women were particularly unfriendly towards her.

Whenever I consider the appalling atrocities carried out in zones of conflict across the globe, I realise how, increasingly, I expect less and less of humanity.

Yet, amongst it all, we can acknowledge a Quaker's crumb of comfort, for Norman Kember experienced kindness during his ordeal - and that kindness registered.

A land called Paradise?

"In December 2007, over 2000 Muslims in the USA were asked what they would wish to say to the rest of the world. This is what they said."



This film is just one of many entries in the One Nation Many Voices contest. Go browse.

Create a Peace Room

Today, at the University of Hull's stand, at the BETT Exhibition at Olympia, I got chatting to Andrée Jordan, and heard for the first time about the Peace Room. Check this site out, if you're a teacher, learning with any age group—8 to 80! I'm going to spin it at my students next week.

It was in South Africa that I first came across the book Above All Nations, in a shop selling secondhand books in Fish Hoek. That book inspired this blog.

The Peace Room Project set me thinking about the many peacemakers South Africa has produced, in spite of its turbulent past, but a country which now looks set to a turbulent future, with the prospect of a President whose theme tune, still invariably aired on public occasions, is Umshini Wami (Bring me my machine gun).

And now you can get the ringtone.

Cry, the Beloved Country.

I don't know anything about the site, Iraq has a voice, other than it promises to give Iraqis a voice. So if I am being naive in taking it at face value, I hope someone will tell me.

This post records compassion shown to an Iraqi man by American soldiers. Mind you, rescue from a mob — well, that's a job we hope they do. That sounds a tad niggardly. Given the constant danger everyone is in, for some Iraqis, they do make a difference, and in the political ranting over the whole Iraq Thing, we often overlook that.

Yesterday I came across Chikitika's blog where I read about the funeral banners that go up in neighbourhoods whenever there are deaths. Of course googling the banners, sidetracked me even further. But we can't overlook that there are far more black banners than there are white banners — the white banners signifying those who have been killed by American actions.

I think it's like this: we have to get past the point of feeling so squeamish about what's happening in Iraq and past seeing it purely as a bloody big blunder.

If you look closely, it's not all noise and nonsense out there. When they're off duty, many soldiers are involved in projects to help and rebuild local communities. It's not all blogging and bloke stuff out there. Maybe, less grudgingly, we should recognise the peacekeeping part when we spot it.

There's more to this name

I chose the title Above All Nations for this blog, because I was moved by, and wanted to replicate, the spirit behind the original compilation Above All Nations. I hoped that it would be possible, in these turbulent times, to record acts of kindness in current conflicts across the globe.

I have previously agonised over the title and changed nothing. However, I am increasingly of the opinion, especially when I see what googling "above all nations" trawls, that it is too sectarian a title. Just the sight of it, could alienate a lot of readers. Ordinarily, when I see titles with any jingoistic undercurrent, I click straight on Next Blog. There's no denying that, without the "is Humanity" tag, this blog falls into that category. So, for starters, there is a change which I'm going to run with for a couple of weeks: I've added "is Humanity" to the original string.

I've been exercising my mind over the past few days, torn between letting go of this blog, and trying to come up with a title that reflects my conviction that we need to give nationalism and other divisive forces the push. By night, I welcome 'brilliant' ideas that come to me half asleep, a brilliance which eludes me when I'm fully awake and have struggled to retrieve them. ("Noisy Households" was the last straw.)

What we have in common, has to be stronger yet softer, more enduring yet less rigid, than what drives us apart. It's the spirit of Us, rather than You and Them that needs to drive our actions towards others.

I'm passing the baton on this to you. Please comment, or email to aboveallnations at gmail (etc.)

"But who shall return us our children?"

This question forms the refrain in the first and final verses of Rudyard Kipling's poem, The Children [1914–1918] .

Sorting out my desk muddle this morning, I came across the poem in the form of a cutting of it when it was the Saturday Poem in The Guardian some time back.

I thought of the children who aren't returned to their parents. Anwar, and so many other sons and daughters, lost in a violent encounter. And young children, spirited away by those with malicious intent.

There is nothing of ubuntu in the recruiting, often forcible, of children as child soldiers. How do we undo some of that damage when the children are rescued, or escape?

According to Ishmael Beah, a former child soldier, "It is easy to become a child soldier, but it is much more difficult to recover one's humanity. But it is possible." (My italics.)

There are at least a quarter of a million child soldiers. You can find out about the work of Save the Children here, and of Unicef, here.

In the UK, War Child publishes resource packs for teachers.

I will be adding a new side bar area for organisations which work with former child soldiers, or which actively seek to support children affected by war. Please look out for it.

For Anwar, for his family, for all whose lives are shattered by conflict

Today I have been thinking of Anwar's mother, who, despite her grief at the murder of her son, said to her nephew, repeatedly:

“Thank God for everything. We still have you and the rest of your cousins. Thank God for everything.”

I can see how faith can be an insurance against despair, even as what is done in the name of faith, only serves to diminish the residues of mine.

Today is a good time to reflect on the grace, despite great suffering, of Anwar's family, including Omar, his cousin.

In searching for a tribute to this lost life, I will return, today, to my neglected PTSD project.

This time I will not let frustration or despair distract me from it.

"I am what I am because of who we all are"

This post title is another line on Ubuntu, the African concept of "humanity towards others" which regulars might remember was one of the U words in this post. And in these murky, messy times, not always reflected across the continent, sadly.

But, but, but...it's also the name of Open Source software that's currently so alive on Klei Lat's Moddereiland potgooi blog that even I registered the kick to check it out.

Technically literate or not, you can get the gist of the Ubuntu Technology Community on the Ubuntu web site. Expect the glimmer of a smile to broaden into a grin.

As one of my gripes is that information is no longer freely accessible on the Internet (as was originally envisioned) I feel heartened by the generosity of the Ubuntu community. When they need Ubuntu for Dummies, as they will, I'm volunteering.

Ubuntu's website defines ubuntu as "the belief in a universal bond of sharing which connects all humanity" so there's another variant of what you've read earlier.

Now for the ground rules as given in Ubuntu's code of conduct as this is what's relevant to this blog's Impossible Quest. Wouldn't they be a universal blueprint just for plain decent treatment of others? As within families, between colleagues, in takeovers (political and financial), in handovers of power, against vanity in bosses especially...

Here they are (with the nitty gritty thereof elaborated on the site):

Be considerate.
Be respectful.
Be collaborative.
When you disagree, consult others.
When you are unsure, ask for help.
Step down considerately.

Mooi bly, Ubuntu. (Lank sal julle lewe!)

Speaking of good causes, here is something any blogger can do

There's now a banner in support of Alan Johnston on this blog.

That's Alan's picture to the right of the first post.

Today he has been missing for 43 days. 43 days in which a good bloke has been held captive, unjustly. Any rational Muslim would agree it is thuloum, an injustice - I learnt that word from Jill Carroll's description of her time in captivity.

Many, many Palestinians have called for his release because they recognise that his is a voice that speaks up for those whose voice is faint or unheard, regardless of their religious or political beliefs. That voice still needs to be heard. In Palestine and in too many places across the globe.

If you would like to show your support for those who are trying to secure Alan's release, you can easily add this banner to your blog too.

Follow this link to the BBC site. You'll find the HTML code you need to insert in your blog or on your web page. Select and copy it, and then paste it into your blog template. Do a quick preview, just to make sure it appears where you want it to, before you save it!

Some come home...

I've got mixed feelings about this. Relieved that the released marines and sailors were able to board a flight to return home from Iran: disturbed by the 'scripts' and other pressure which seem to have been imposed on the prisoners and the distortion of facts by at least one side. This means that I can't consider their release as an act of generosity on the part of the Iranian President.

Dismayed as, at almost that exact moment, four more soldiers died in Iraq.

Who gets the credit for this release? It seems, Iran's President, though it also seems as though he didn't really want to release them.

My favourite Iraqi bloggers help me to have a sense of the lives of the Iraqi people in this ongoing struggle. But I am also conscious of many other civil war zones and the suffering that goes on, right now, as I type this.

I still hope to come across those seemingly rare acts of kindness and generosity which I longed, when I started this blog, to be able to celebrate here. No change either on feeling naive in having started this blog. A wild goose chase might have been a better option.

At last

Came across this when I returned some books to the library, and saw Baghdad Burning Volume 2 on display. Now, although I visit this blog fairly regularly, it's a lot easier to read a book, than online, so I went to the catalogue to track down Volume 1. It was on loan, but I went to the shelves to see what else was parked at that Dewey number.

Picked up Andy McNab's Bravo Zero Two for the first time and flicked through it. Scanning page 280, I spotted the following:

The door opened and I saw daylight. I stretched out my arms, palms upwards, in a gesture of helplessness.

'I can't move,' I said. ''Stiff.'

He called to another guard. I clenched my sore muscles in readiness for the kicking I was about to receive.

They came into the toilet and bent over me.

'Up, up, aah,' one said, all nice and gentle. They put my arms around their necks and lifted me upright, almost with compassion. they were actually
concerned. I couldn't believe it.

The crash of a door bell and the friendly shout of 'Good morning! Good morning!' echoed round the block as they helped me towards the door to the courtyard.

Andy McNab's move to another location that same day turned out to be the prelude to worse torture and suffering.

But amongst all of that, one more flicker for the count.

Looking for psychologists who are PTSD experts

The long gap between posts is because I've lost heart re this project, overwhelmed by the unrelenting, not to say mounting, "upheaval" in the Middle East. Senseless slaughter. How can the survivors ever feel peace?

With The Lebanon under siege once again, my heart is heavy. Even as I type, I wonder how many people will die violent deaths in Iraq before I have formulated what I am trying to say. Increasingly I worry about the long term effects of living under such constant stress.

I have been reflecting a great deal on the enormous emotional damage suffered by those living in Iraq today. Amongst my former pupils are two Iraqi brothers. A year or so ago, they had a cousin from Iraq over here to give him some respite from the civil war. They told me of the effect on him of a car backfiring. I met him once, and could see a young man whose eyes betrayed how much he had suffered.

I googled PTSD and found, amongst others a US site for veterans of conflict, with suggestions as to how they could manage traumatic stress.

But what can one do for Iraqis for whom Post-traumatic Stress Disorder is hardly "post"? What help and advice can one offer people to whom that traumatic stress is far from 'post'? And what about the children....?!

I have obtained a Google page. I want to use it to list simple points which will help people living in an environment of ongoing traumatic stress. That's damage limitation for those in it, now - not after the storm has abated.

If you know an expert, please ask for their advice. You can leave a comment or email me at aboveallnations at gmail dot com.

What colour week is this?

What colour will be assigned to this eventful week?

Black for grief, despair and death?

Red for anger, heartache and impatience?

Green for discord?